UM THING FRUITS BASKET YEAH!
by Perdy Toes
Summary: A touching Fruits Basket story that everyone hates.
1. Cocoa Puffs

**A story? About Fruits Basket? HNASJKDKASDJKS!**

**EattheelmopoketheelmoeatitsomuchyesyesyesynowayughstupidhahaI'mstilltypinghaha**

Tohru was walking. She walked really fast. Kyo suddenly flew in and started dancing. Yuki jumped on Kyo, and then started punching the door.

"You ruined my awesome dance moves!" Kyo retorted, then started painting the walls with butter.

"Stupid!" Yuki cried, then started sobbing and rolling on the floor.

Tohru was too busy poking the air when she saw Shigure come in.

"What the fuck?" Shigure shouted, "Chicken isn't a fruit! It's a vegetable!"

Then there was an awkward silence. DUN DUN DUUUUN! Akito came in out of nowhere, jamming a plastic spork in his head.

"Stupid McDonalds!" he sobbed, breaking the silence.

Kyo then started dancing on Akito's face. Butter came in holding Haru's face.

"Yo momma's face!" Butter shouted, then ate the table.

"You're…. you're…. you're…..BEAUTIFUL!" Yuki shouted, poking Haru.

Haru then blew up, but nobody really cared. Shigure then ran all the way to Akito, who was on the ceiling.

"BATMAN! DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN! BATMAN!" Kyo shouted.

Akito ran all the way to a store and came back.

"Book for retards!" he shouted. "Red Sox!"

Then everyone blew up except for Tohru, who was sitting there eating a bagel.

"Mmmm…" she said, complementing the bagel. "Peanut Butta Jelly Time!"

Then, everyone came back to life.

"KSIJFIJOFJAOSFJFA!" A mysterious person shouted as the lights turned off.

DUN DUN DUUUNNN!

It was just Momiji, eating Cocoa Puffs.

"Coo coo for Cocoa Puffs!" he shouted with that big retarded smile on his face. Everyone laughed. They laughed so hard that the stick people standing there exploded. So the Adams Family was left.

No, never mind, x that out.

Wait, what was the question?

"Polly Pocket!" Momiji shouted, then Akito came in wearing a black bikini.

"Yes the sky," he shouted, banging his head on the doorknob that was just sitting there.

"DING DONG DING BONG DING DING DONG DONG BONNNGG!" Kyo shouted, then the sky turned purple.

Akito started crying, yes he was still in his bikini. Yuki then came flying in. He crashed through the window and blood was everywhere.

"Nooo!" Tohru shouted.

Then Yuki punched Kyo in the face. They both started fighting.

Shigure then started a beat and Momiji was dressed up as a gangsta. "Big mac. Big mac. Big m-" Momiji was cut off because a giant mustard bottle thing fell on his head.

Shigure then started jumping around. Ayame came in, but then he blew up because no one cares about those other people right now.

"HNASJKARUFIASJSKAFJKSF GAY RETARD!" Akito shouted.

Then the sky turned seven again. (It was purple, remember? Geez.) Akito then started singing the song _Girlfriend_. Yeah. He ate it. Sorry. He ran up to Yuki and started singing it. Kyo and Yuki stopped fighting.

"T-that was beautiful!" Yuki sobbed, then ran up to his room to commit suicide.

**To be continued….**

**(A sign that eats people? Ugh no way.)**


	2. Yo Momma

**I OWN NOTHING!! NOOOOTHIINNNGGG!! Except your mom. OOOHHH!!**

**Chapter 2 of the retarded Fruits Basket story that may never end or it will end as soon as something.**

**TWIDLYDONGDINGDONBONGTWIDLYDOOODOODAAZIPPIDYDOODAAA**

Yuki was sitting there. He was sitting on the couch acting like a fat assed couch potato who had a REALLY big piece of chicken on the side of the couch. Haru came in smoking crack.

"Mmm…..crack," he responded, then jumping out the window.

"ELMO'S ON DRUGS! AHISJIFJISAJFISSJF!" Hiro cried as he crashed through the other window. He then exploded. Yuki then tried eating the couch with the little energy he had left. Shigure came in dancing to _My Humps_. Akito then came in and started rolling on the floor.

"I'm too sexy for donuts!" he cried, still rolling on the floor.

Tohru then came in with a bowl of chicken nuggets from Burger King.

"Alcohol!" A person shouted as the door exploded.

It was just Momiji, and he brought his imaginary friend, Stupid. Stupid then died because Shigure ate him.

"Take that!" Kyo shouted, suddenly flying in with a Butterfinger.

"FUCKDJIESIRWSIKRJIWAWIHRN7U2!!" Yuki screamed, punching Kyo's face.

It was actually a sack of potatoes. Poor potatoes.

"Yo momma!" Ayame screamed as he flew in with McDonalds.

Ronald McDonald then came in and killed everyone except for Hatori, who came in just on schedule.

"Spork!" he shouted, jamming plastic sporks into everyone's heads.

They all came back to life and Ronald McDonald started to cry. He then committed suicide. Everyone laughed because it wasn't funny. Then the door exploded and out popped Kisa. She then exploded and Hiro started to sob and roll around on the floor. He then exploded, also. Everyone laughed maniacally. Ritsu then took a giant piece of crap thing and smashed it on Kyo. Haru crashed through the window and took the crap thing.

"Mmm….bacon," he said, referring to the crap thing.

Tohru started crying for no reason. Akito started poking a piece of butter that fell from the sky.

"Is this BUTTER?!" he questioned, then the clouds turned into fat numbers.

The fat numbers started singing a song.

"I BELIVE I CAN FLY!" Momiji shouted as he fell from the roof, "I BELIVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKY!"

"WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT MAH FACE?!" Yuki shouted, punching Kyo in the nose.

"I SAID IT WAS PURPLE! GOD!" Kyo screamed, then punching the fat numbers.

"TWIDLY DOO DA TWIDLY TWIDLY DOOOOO DA DIDLY TWIDLY DOO DOO DAAAA DOOO!" A voice shouted deep beneath the dark shadows. DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!!!

Aw, it was only Shigure. He was hiding from….from…..from….

"YO MOMMA'S FACE!" Akito screamed, then started sawing the remote in half.

"YOU RUINED MY MOMMA, BITCH!" Yuki screamed, then started making out with Akito.

Akward silence, then Tohru accidentally ripped a piece of paper in half.

"OKDKSNDKMYPIEZOFPAPERZ!11" Ritsu shouted. He then started crying because he was suffering from nothing. Bad, bad scroll bar.

Then, all of a sudden the lights turned off. DUN DUN DUNNN DUNNNNNN DUNN!!

"Haha….retard…haha!" a voice called. Suddenly, a disco ball turned on. It was Akito, doing the disco. The sky then fell on him and a giant rock ate Ayame. Haha…..paint…..haha.

"Yum yum yum Fruity Pebbles! WE WANNA EAT FRUITY PEBBLES!" Kyo shouted. He then started dancing. No one cared because they all drove to France. Actually, only Yuki did, and he came back with butterscotch pudding. The butterscotch pudding then ate…..YO MOMMA. Haru started smashing the wall with some paper thing. Shigure took out a camera and ate it. It tasted like chicken. Akito and Yuki started walking down a runway that just appeared out of nowhere 'cause it's cool like that.

"Strike a pose!" Akito called, then smashed a tree into the fat numbers. (Remember? Fat numbers that eat people? Garsh!)  
Tohru started crying again because of Butter. Butter is ebil. Then, Yuki dyed his hair blonde and joined some group of gangstas.

**(To be continued?)**


	3. I can't believe it's not buttah!

**A/N: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING HERE.**

**I DO NOT OWN FRUITS BASKET.**

**BUT I DO OWN THIS STORY.**

**AND I DO OWN YOU.**

**OOHHH…JOE MOMMA!!!!1111**

**UM THING FRUITS BASKET YEAH PART 3**

"**I can't believe it's not buttah!"**

On a beautiful, fine, bright, sunny morning full of adjectives, Miss Suzumiya was trying to jump out the window.

No, Kyo was, sorry.

"SUICIDE!" he screamed, jumping off of the roof.

"BZBZBZBBZBZ!" Hana randomly walked in, carrying a frying pan.

"SHUSH UP THEY N MEATT111" Yuki screamed, kicking Uo.

Uo died. Then ate herself.

BEEF CAKES MADE OF LIVER, FOO'.

Tohru tried convincing Shigure he was edible lotion, but he didn't believe her.

"It sucks being PURPLE!" Akito shouted, pop lock and droppin' into the room.

No one believed Ritsu was a Ritz cracker.

"SHUDDUP IM WATCHIN' TREE!1" someone called.

Don't be shy, it's Bill Nye the science Guy.

"BILL BILL BILL BILL, RAPES SMALL CHILDREN!" Hatori shouted.

He was eating rainbows.

"DURR." Ayame replied, eating his green pancakes.

STFU.

Dur, I know it's not EYEWINER.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTAH!" screamed Akito, jamming his fork into the world.

He was angry at PEPPORONI PIZZAZ.

"I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!" Jimmy shouted, his tooth shining brightly.

Jimmay? Is that you Jimmay? It's been fifty long years Jimmay.

He was a hillbilly.

Moment.

"GIMME THAT FACE!" Kyo screamed, punching the air.

It was busy ringing bells.

OF SPARTAN.

SPPPPAAARRRTTTAAAN!

Suddenly, Hiro's face through flew a nearby apartment. It screamed "HDSJHGJDSHFJSHJASJAS!"

Ayame is Joe Momma.

Poor eyes.

FRENCH FRIES!

"I need a bathroom," Hatori was NOT IN THE MOOD for something covered in soy sauce.

"I LOVE FROSTED HEARTS!" Momiji shouted, holding up a bowl of cereal.

It was full of…YES…..YOU GUESSED IT….FREE TOILET SEATS!

"HUHFFSHFHSFHIASH!" A tree screamed, punching Haru in the face.

"GARSH STUFUFUUJKFJGK!" Someone shouted, in the forest,

GREENGREENGREEN.

It was Stupid. He was REALLY Stupid Thing Person 2.

"DIE!" Kisa heard an evil computer-thing say. It was running after the periodic table.

How smart I am.

"BZBZBBZBZBZ!" Hana suddenly ran into the room, AGAIN, with cream cheese in her right leg.

Yes, she's made of French toast.

Tohru was just too busy reciting the alphabet in backwards Pig Latin to notice anything wrong.

As usual, foolsual.

Akito entered Australia's Next Top Model. He lost, BECAUSE OF HARRY.

SDIJGUIDSJF.

"SQUID FACE!" Kyo cried, he then went to rehab.

On Tuesdays.

Yuki got sad, then saw his lavender-scented soap dancing.

"BOOOOO-TIFUL!" Kagura shouted.

Yuki then ate her and the soap and pancakes and kept on living.

WE'RE GUNNA KEEP ON DANCING THROUGH THE NIGHT, FOO'!

END.

HAPPY HALLOW'S EVE EVERYONE! :-D


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